Breathe Me
by Angelic Elementist
Summary: Post-Final Battle. His friends are all dead. Takes place over two months. Harry’s friends are dead. He has no one to turn to. When all is lost, and there what can you do? AU because of DH. Warnings: Adult Themes, Many Character Deaths.


Breathe Me

A Harry Potter Fanfiction. Post-Final Battle. His friends are all dead. Takes place over two months. Harry's friends are dead. He has no one to turn to. When all is lost, what can you do? AU because of DH.

I am the Savior of the bloody wizarding world. I mean honestly, it was one Dark Lord, who was almost immortal, plus about a hundred vigilante soldiers. They were really nothing but a really murderous group of people who were over compensating for their lack of masculinity.

I mean, seriously, it's not like it's the first time I've every done anything to save the world. What about the last fifteen years of my life?

Help, I have done it again 

I mean, my time at the Dursley's was probably the safest in my entire life, despite their neglectful and mildly abusive attitude toward me. My time at Hogwarts was wrought with danger. In Auror Academy we were being sent out on raids even before we were officially in our capacity to arrest and whatever.

The pain, and the loss, and the scars on my body are all proof of this horrible negligence to my well being. More often than not it was imposed by myself.

I have been here many times before Hurt myself again today 

I wish I could do what Dumbledore, and my friends used to tell me to do, blame the death eaters, blame Voldemort, but don't blame yourself. "It's not your fault Harry." I remember Hermione saying before...

And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame 

I curled my legs up into my body, practically feeling my ribs sticking out, my stomach in a slight bulge; a result of my starvation I suppose, the whole using protein and losing muscles to keep the inner organs from practically expelling themselves.

A small object across the room called to me. A Childs crib, long having been emptied of the poor soul contained inside. Hermione had been devastated, committed suicide, blaming me.

I picked up a small blue bear, and held it tightly to my chest, tears just beginning to well up, unshed, in my eyes.

_Be my friend_

_Hold me, wrap me up_

_Unfold me_

_I am small_

_I'm needy_

_Warm me up_

_And breathe me_

I could scarcely breathe for the sobs that racked my body, my organs shaking as my body twisted around on the floor, unable to control itself, wracked in the throws of guilt and tears.

Ouch I have lost myself again 

What was that I had promised my self, all those years ago? At Sirius' funeral. It seemed that I had to fight, and kill Voldemort for my friends, for those I loved. For Her. I killed him. But in the process I killed my friends. Even my enemies were dead. No one I knew on a personal level was there to keep me connected.

_Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,_

I can't do this anymore. I took the small teddy in my hand, gently stroking it as I started to calm my breath, my sobs turning into chocked cries, my tears drying on my face, leaving it feeling taught and old.

_Yeah I think that I might break_

_I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe_

Screw it.

_Be my friend_

_Hold me, wrap me up_

_Unfold me_

_I am small_

_I'm needy_

_Warm me up_

_And breathe me_

I stood up, went to the kitchen. Ha! Savior THIS bitches. I laughed. It seemed so strange to laugh, but once had started I couldn't stop.

_Be my friend_

_Hold me, wrap me up_

_Unfold me_

_I am small_

_I'm needy_

_Warm me up_

And once I had started this I couldn't stop. I picked up my coat, and apparated to Hogsmeade, placing a quick glamour on my self to make me look healthy. I walked over to the Forest, and climbed under a rock, once there I hissed and a small doorway opened up to a regal passage way.

I heard my footsteps, echoing at a staggering pace, the water dripping from the lake that was no doubt above me, and reverberating onto the floor coming down in large 'plops'.

I reached yet another doorway, this one contorted with snake-like sculptures, moving around the door, chasing after miniature lions and small fowl.

I wished, and hoped and dreamed it was still there as I opened the last door into the antechamber. It was! I conjured a large stone, quickly inscribing something before sending it out the way it came. Never again would I be bothered, never again would I see light, I will see them, and whatever else awaits me.

I picked up the basilisk fang, and stabbed it into my heart, killing it the same way I had killed that first horcrux.

I heard it stop beating—

_And breathe me_


End file.
